The VMP 3-Step Marketing Guide to Selling Out the Album Of The Month:
- Score an exclusive pressing of Demon Days, give it the full VMP treatment. Make sure it’s the best sounding version so everyone wants it. Add some stickers and a new color variant so the fanboys need it, even if they already own a copy.
- Coordinate its release with upcoming announcements of a new Gorillaz album and cartoon series.
- Watch the internet go apeshit over all things Gorillaz, then ride that shitwave straight to a sellout.
Now that’s some A-level viral marketing right there. Watching the entire campaign unfold was pure shaolin style. Credit where it’s due, that was fun!
“Flippers will flip anything. They’d flip a steaming turd if it netted them a profit”
No hints for this month’s AOTM, but I’m told it’s another highly coveted record, which may lead to a repeat of last month’s sellout. The album announcement, slated for this Wednesday, is too big to dole out any advance clues. Hush hush! Take that as the one clue, interpret however you wish. If it does turn out to be one of those big-deal records though, you’ll wanna get ahead of The Shitbags. While photographic evidence generally does not exist, traces of Shitbag activity can be spotted here and here. Like lawyers and cancer this sub-species is almost universally reviled. The Shitbags will always exist. They used to hawk Beanie Babies and laminated sports cards, now they vinyl (me please, apparently). In fact, you may be standing in line with a whole mess of them, next Saturday. “They Live” type sunglasses don’t exist so they’re difficult to spot, too bad. They blend in so well! Their conversations tend to favor finance over art but that’s not a dead giveaway either. Shitbags are very hard to vet and no credible screening process exists, but they’re not dangerous. They valuate differently but there is no need to fear.
Flippers will flip anything. They’d flip a steaming turd if it netted them a profit. If used cockrings became profitable, they’d put an ad up on Craigslist offering to come help you slide it off, the moment you’re finished. There’s a market for everything and it’s just different values so don’t judge! Remember when grown-assed men were “investing” in miniature stuffed animals? These investments were so sure, they even produced infomercials to help share their insider tips!
Avoid the stupidity, beat them to the punch. VMP’s official announce date falls on 4/20 this month and VMP’s located in Colorado. I’ma guess that we’re due for some green colored wax. I can’t imagine anyone involved with the marketing of Demon Days would let that nugget slide by. Pot smokers listen to records, duh.
Fuck, now I’m playing the guessing game. I think I’m enjoying not knowing better.
Here’s a full list of titles from the April VMP Member Store (Opens April 17th)
<>MEMBER STORE EXCLUSIVES<>
Son House – Father of the Delta Blues: The Complete 1965 Sessions (2LP, Coke Bottle Clear, LTD to 1,500)
Delta Blues 101. Much like they’ve done with their jazz picks, VMP have effectively stepped up to offer their members some great blues picks. Son House represents the dirty essentials where the folks that played it, felt it. This is the not-rock n’ roll-blues, the stuff that got ripped off. Just listen to the first 30 seconds of “Death Letter”. Page and Plant, right? Even the vocal delivery! C’mon, you didn’t the Zeppelin sound was their own, did you? You only invent the wheel once. Son House helped with the design.
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – The Boatman’s Call (Red Vinyl w/ Black Smoke, LTD to 1,000) (MUSIC)
Nick Cave’s entire recorded catalog is must-have, to fans of of Nick Cave. I need this, you need this. Then we need more, until we have em all. Vinyl Pokemon for his legions of wax warriors. Nick’s fans don’t mess about, don’t think on it too long.
- Philip Glass – Solo Piano (Clear Vinyl, LTD to 1,100) (MUSIC)
- Mick Jenkins – The Healing Component (Red Vinyl, LTD to 600) (MUSIC)
- Alexandra Savior – Belladonna of Sadness (Green Vinyl, LTD to 500) (MUSIC)
- Sylvan Esso – What Now (Orange Vinyl, LTD to 750) (MUSIC)
- Perfume Genius – No Shape (Clear Vinyl w/ Red Streaks, 2LP, LTD to 750) (MUSIC)
<>CURATED NEW RELEASES<>
Father John Misty – Pure Comedy (Deluxe Edition) (MUSIC)
Immediate sellout item. Warm up your fingers beforehand. The mustache replaced the beard, he’s still Coachella cool. Who gives a shit. “HoneyBear” was rave-worthy and so is this one, despite the hipster trappings. Everyone who doesn’t have it, wants it. It’s the deluxe edition. You know how collectible vinyl goes. Shitbag activity expected, don’t let them beat you to your copy.
The Afghan Whigs – In Spades (Loser Ed.) (MUSIC)
Greg Dulli doesn’t half-step anything, no weak links in his catalog. I haven’t heard this yet but the track record speaks for itself. Expect good things.
Zeal & Ardor – Devil is Fine (Green Vinyl) (MUSIC)
“Imagine this: Django sacrifices a goat on stage while intimidating slave chants roar and screeching guitar riffs burn in the background. Then the rhythmic chain rattling evoking a satanic summoning makes way for the eerily familiar melodies of Norwegian black metal.”
Spiritual Black Metal!!! VJ forum members have been enthusiastically and insistently recommending this album to any metalhead who’ll listen. Zeal And Ardor offer a most unique take on metal in a very crowded market. Can’t say I’ve ever heard anything like it before. Click-worthy for the metal curious, try before you buy,
- Gorillaz – Humanz (MUSIC) (It’ll sell out. Act fast)
- Gorillaz – Plastic Beach (MUSIC) (It’ll sell out. Act fast)
- Pinegrove – Everything So Far (Ltd. Edition Blue Vinyl) (MUSIC)
- Mount Eerie – A Crow Looked At Me (MUSIC)
- Joan Shelley – Joan Shelley (MUSIC)
- Future Islands – The Far Field (MUSIC)
- Arca – Arca (MUSIC)
- At The Drive In – in-ter-a-lia (Deep Purple Vinyl, Grimace Splatter) (MUSIC)
- Jake Xerxes Fussell – What in the Natural World (MUSIC)
- Julien Baker – Funeral Pyre (7”) (MUSIC)
- Mac Demarco – This Old Dog (White Vinyl) (MUSIC)
- Various Artists – Resistance Radio: The Man in the High Castle Album (2LP) (MUSIC)
- Jean Michel-Blais & CFCF – Cascades (MUSIC)
- Slowdive – Slowdive (Silver Vinyl) (MUSIC)
- Various Artists – Follow the Sun (2LP) (MUSIC)
- Bottle Tree – Open Secret (7”) (MUSIC)
- Chris Stapleton – From a Room: Volume 1
- Dawn Richard – Redemption (MUSIC)
- Pinky Pinky – Pinky Pinky 7” (Picture Disk, RSD Edition) (MUSIC)
- Harriet Brown – Contact (RSD Edition) (MUSIC)
- Forest Swords – Compassion (MUSIC)
- El Michels Affair – Return to the 37th Chamber (MUSIC)
File under ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY!!! This 10 track compilation is a first time vinyl pressing of Alice Coltrane’s private performances. These tracks were recorded from her Ashram temple and were originally only available on cassette, to those who worshipped at her temple.
“Luaka Bop will release the first-ever compilation of recordings from this period, making these songs available to the wider public for the first time. Entitled ‘World Spirituality Classics, Volume 1: The Ecstatic Music of Alice Coltrane Turiyasangitananda,’ the release is the first installment in a planned series of spiritual music from around the globe; curated, compiled and distributed by Luaka Bop.”
First time available to the public!!! Expect jazz nerds to lose their shit over this release. This series of compilations is a very big deal. Need em all.
Charles Kynard – Afro-Disiac
Funky organ souljazz from 1970. A beast of an lp, finally reissued)
Funkadelic – Finest (MUSIC)
Stellar 2lp pressing of Funkadelic’s earliest, most psychedlic years. Plenty of Eddie Hazel on these 2 slabs. Tidal Waves Music does vinyl right, quality delivered every time)
- Big Star – The Best of Big Star (2LP)
- Rusty Bryant – Fire Eater (MUSIC)
- Spoon – Kill the Moonlight (MUSIC)
- S U R V I V E – Survive (Red & Black Vinyl, Alt. Cover Art)
- Emanon (Aloe Blacc & Exile) – Dystopia (Blue Vinyl, includes bonus Flexi) (MUSIC)
- Wilson Pickett – The Best of Wilson Pickett Vol. II (180g) (MUSIC)
- Three Six Mafia – Most Known Unknown (MUSIC)
- Jean Jaques Perry – Moog Indigo (MUSIC)
- Black Moon – Enta Da Stage (6LP, Box Set) (MUSIC)
Selda – Selda
Habibi Funk! Selda=purest turkish psychedlia. Deep pick, a very safe bet for those seeking trippy arabic sounds.
Elia y Elizabeth – La Onda De Elia y Elizabeth (MUSIC)
Vampi Soul compilations are to 70’s tropical psychedelia what SoulJazz is to reggae/ska. Can’t miss selection for fans of Os Mutantes or trippy South American grooves in general. Check out the Munster Records/Vampi Soul website, you’ll want em all! Compilation porn for the deep digger
Alice Coltrane – Universal Consciousness (MUSIC)
A masterpiece of cosmic jazz, performed by its queen during her heyday. Hard necessity for fans of the early 70’s avant garde scene. Add this to your cosmic jazz collection. You want it, you need it.)
- Broadcast – Tender Buttons (MUSIC)